8/8
I just recently graduated from Brown. Yay! An overly sentimental yap is due but honestly would be inauthentic, mainly because I wrote reflections last semester to which I don’t have much to add. Instead, I just have some short general thoughts. In hindsight, this post could have stayed in the drafts, but I felt obligated to write at least a life update and give my thanks to those that have impacted my life at Brown.
I’m truthfully not that sad about graduating. By mid May, I was already mentally ready to leave, especially because I didn’t have any particular attachments or obligations that could only be attended to while being in Providence. I found myself appreciating and wishing for more time with the people but felt indifferent towards the place. For me, Brown as a place had finished its most important job: supply experiences that pushed me closer to identifying what it is I want to spend my life doing.
My ambivalence might be irrational but it’s also not my first graduation. As before in high school, I’m just most bummed about connections-that-could’ve-been, especially with new friends or acquaintances. Closer relationships will also probably become distant as people chase different paths, some of which I may never speak to again outside of the occasional reunion or catch up dinner.
This understanding is saddening, but my perspective is one of low expectations. I’m already deeply grateful for all that these relationships have given me so I don’t feel it’s appropriate to demand more in the future if it isn’t natural. I don’t mean to imply I won’t make efforts to see or visit my current friends - I’m just confident that if we both want to see each other, our paths will almost surely cross again. And if not, that’s fine too.
I do have a few mild regrets:
- not taking enough photos - after a while, it’s hard to remember details of events and photos are all I have left, so I find myself wishing I took more.
- not doing enough things good for my soul - Brown gives a lot of opportunities such as taking random classes to explore and participate in activities good for the soul. I didn’t do many of them.
- getting stuck in various local social minima for too long.
Acknowledgements
I wanted to list people who I feel made a uniquely notable impact on my undergrad life, regardless of the nature of our relationship. Thank you for consistently inspiring me and making my undergrad a fruitful one. Names are in no particular order.
- At Brown: Patrick Peng, Brandon Gong, Ryan Peng, Thomas Chang, Madeline Day, Sherry Zhang, Christina Stepin, Ivan Lee, Jerry Lu, Ayaka Ono, Ayushman Choudhury, Mason Zhang, Luke Choi, Alexey Izmailov, Matthew Meeker, Siming Feng, Nancy Liu, Charlie Duong, Pranav Mahableshwarkar, Bumjin Joo, Timothy Pyon, Chirag Furia, Kelly Wei
- Mentors: Jack Merullo, Alessandro Stolfo, Govind Menon, Hui Wang, Mikey Lepori, Kavita Ramanan, Yair Shenfeld
- Elsewhere: Timmy Qian, Evan Wang, James Zhou, Maxwell Zhang, Leo Seen
- My family and Mimi
As of right now, I’m set to start as a researcher at DRW, Chicago-based market making firm, in July. Other than that, the future is uncertain and boundless - in particular, I want to make a return to ML research, hopefully sooner rather than later.